Me: "...when pigs fly." My Better Half: "Can you imagine how big a pig's wings would have to be for a pig to FLY?" "...And they'd be all bacony too. Mmmm. Giant bacony buffalo wings. I'd eat those." … [Read more...] about unfiltered thoughts: flying pigs
Do you think that this coffee that I made last Tuesday is still okay? Hmm. Smells fine. Can coffee turn into alcohol or something, like is it okay to drink? Let's give it a try and see how it goes. Words I may will live to regret. … [Read more...] about Unfiltered Thoughts: Old Coffee edition
What crime is it exactly if someone steals your kidney? Robbery? Assault? Breaking and entering? … [Read more...] about Unfiltered Thoughts: Urban Myths
I was listening to an old episode of one of my all-time favorite podcasts today - Wiretap, to be specific - and it included an interview with an artist whose project was living inside a plexiglass apartment in the Boston Museum of Contemporary Art for a month. Like absolutely every moment of her life on display for any wandering museum-goer. And she talked about how she did this as an exploration of transparency. The idea that was at the crux of her project was "Where there are walls, there are … [Read more...] about Unfiltered Thoughts: Artist Statements
I was sitting in the driveway rocking out to "Goodbye Stranger" when My Better Half came out to see what the hold up was. When he saw I was rocking out he said "Y'know Supertramp is ALWAYS on some station, isn't it?!" I said "Maybe. But this is on the iPod. It's on the 'Chicks who rock' playlist." My Better Half: "Uh...you realize Supertramp is dudes, right?" Me, jamming out to the falsetto section: "Is it? Is it reaaaaaly?" By the way, Queen is on that playlist too. … [Read more...] about Chicks Who Rock
I have this irrational fear that I will blurt out something that is appallingly inappropriate for the context. Or just plain unspeakably unsuitable for any context. Like if I were in a meeting at work and found the words "I like little boys" falling out of my mouth. Or turn to my in-laws and ask if they want a bong hit. Just completely, utterly inappropriate. I thought this was just one of the millions of my irrational worries and anxieties. That is, until My Better Half™ told me this … [Read more...] about My Greatest Fears Realized
Am I the only one who views the workday as an impediment to the sh*t I want to and need to get done? Instead of sitting here for 8 hours I would rather: finish my Photoshop Mother's Day project finish the art I started 7 months ago for my daughter's nursery finish start at least one of the three books I got from the library watch another episode of Luther nap And, for those of you who are counting, in addition to the pet projects I would like to get done, I also need to: … [Read more...] about Unfiltered Thoughts: The Workday
My life since last Thursday can be summed up as: alternating between tylenol and sudafed every 4-6 hours. I feel awful. I think it's safe to say that I have been more sick since Baby was born than any other time in my life. Even though I managed to get a few catnaps this weekend and barely did anything besides lay around moaning, I stil felt straight up awful this morning. But I decided to go to work anyway because I have no sick time anyway and thought I could at least tough it through the … [Read more...] about blech. sick.
When you have good friends visiting you in your new place, I think you should be required to disclose at the following: Hey, by the way, our new house has an indoor hot tub! Bring your suits!! While I'm at it, It'd also be nice to say, uh, that rattle your baby is chewing on isn't colorfast. Her whole mouth is black. And her face. And her hands. But I'd settle for the first disclosure. … [Read more...] about Disclosure Agreement
I've been grappling with pink since Baby was born. Pink blankets, pink onesies, pink bath towels, pink toys, pink socks, pink bibs. We didn't find out if we were having a boy or a girl, so I was lucky to have a bunch of yellow, green, and white stuff on hand or I would have gone apeshit. I don't love pink. It's a fine color, but everything in moderation would be better. It's particularly puzzling because: Babies love bold graphic patterns and high contrast colors, so what's with all the … [Read more...] about Unfiltered Thoughts: From Babies to Babes?