Me: What time are we meeting our friends at the Children's museum? 9:00? My Better Half: uh, not til 11:00... Me: <raising one eyebrow> My Better Half: I tried to get them to agree to meet around 9:00 but then they said "Why so early?!" Me: Their kids must sleep in. Me: F*ck them. ---- I can at least take solace in the fact that last night the Yankees (their team) lost to the Red Sox (ours). While I drink my coffee and pray for an early nap. … [Read more...] about nope, not bitter at all
Does anyone have a recipe for homemade chloroform? I ask because I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. Insomnia + exhaustion is a bad combination. By the way, how do I know homemade chloroform even exists? Because I still remember a story My Better Half told me about a long time ago, where a friend of his figured out how to make it and called his homemade concoction "Chuckle" because the chemical makeup was something like CHCl or something. If you know how to score some, let me know. Til then I'll … [Read more...] about Got Chuckle?
Yesterday was my last day of vacation staycation off. I just don't know what to call it. It's probably no secret that a vacation with two kids 3 and under is hardly restful, so while calling it a vacation is wrong, even the "-cation" part of staycation just rubs me the wrong way. Here are some handy reminders that I may need to review when planning our next trip to ensure sanity next time around: If at all possible, avoid making the first day of your time off a 19 hour day of packing, … [Read more...] about Vacation recap
"Nurse's line." Hello. Yes, um, I'm a little worried about my 4 month old. "Ok. What's going on?" Uh, so, he's, well, sleeping. A lot. Like 8 hours at a time? "..." Well, can you blame me? My first didn't sleep like that for months & months & months. … [Read more...] about One of these things is not like the other
My life since last Thursday can be summed up as: alternating between tylenol and sudafed every 4-6 hours. I feel awful. I think it's safe to say that I have been more sick since Baby was born than any other time in my life. Even though I managed to get a few catnaps this weekend and barely did anything besides lay around moaning, I stil felt straight up awful this morning. But I decided to go to work anyway because I have no sick time anyway and thought I could at least tough it through the … [Read more...] about blech. sick.
I started my new job almost a year ago, when I was six months pregnant. And within a couple weeks, my new boss connected me with a woman who works here who had just come back from maternity leave. I went up to talk with her one afternoon because she'd just enrolled her daughter in the same daycare we were considering. We compared notes on the daycare, and, naturally, touched base on a lot of other baby-related issues: hospitals and birth, pumping at work, and, of course, sleep. She told me the … [Read more...] about A Problem Only for Upper Middle Class Moms
I am exhausted. Despite baby sleeping longer and longer at night, I am about to face plant into my keyboard. Baby is super alert during the day, which is not necessarily new or tiring in and of itself, but she also requires something NEW. Every. 10. Minutes. That toy? I've played with it before. That cute baby in the mirror? What, like I've never seen my reflection before? That book? I've CHEWED IT ALREADY. WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? One of the few activities that distracts her from the same old, … [Read more...] about Walk. Repeat.
This morning, baby woke up to feed at 2 a.m. and, as is her usual pattern these days, just needed a little top-off to get her back to sleep, so she was back out within 10 minutes. Me, on the other hand, could not get back to sleep. At all. So when it came time to get up, I stumbled into the kitchen to get the coffee that I so desperately would require to make it through a workday. I poured a gigantic mug full and drank it, and packed another mug for the road. Drank most of it en … [Read more...] about Yes, Virginia, There is Such a Thing as ‘Too Much Coffee’
It's funny how the universe gives you exactly what you need. The night before last, I woke at 2 with baby, and couldn't get back to sleep. At all. Which meant I had been up for 16 hours straight by 6 p.m. last night. After we picked baby up from daycare, we went home and she was fussy, so we put her down, and here's what unfolded: 6:30 - asleep. Totally, utterly unconscious. 40 minutes later- Me: "I guess she didn't get a long enough nap this afternoon." My Better Half: "mmm." 30 … [Read more...] about Winter Hibernation?
Now that I've got a 6 month old on my hands, I think it's time to reflect on what being a mom has taught me thus far. So here are the 6 things I've learned so far from baby, one for each month: Be Yourself. Having never been a parent before, I had no idea that there were formal parenting styles out there - Attachment, Slow, Ferberization. I don't know about you, but if someone asked me "what kind of person are you?" I'd just look at them dumbfounded, and it seems just as strange to confine … [Read more...] about 6 Months, 6 Life Lessons