How to avoid bath time antics

Recipe for ensuring your kids smell straight-from-the-bath fresh and clean with a minimum of difficulty and effort:

Have older child scrub your face with their bath soap during imaginary bath time. Do not rinse.

The rest of the day any time you cuddle or hold your child, you will think “Awww. You smell SO good.”

Meltdown

Me: whoa! What’s that smell?

My Better Half: Anything you need from the store?

Me: no. What’s that smell?

My Better Half: okay, we’re off to the store.

Me: uh, so wait, what’s that smell?

My Better Half: we gotta go get a new toaster oven…

…and a fire extinguisher. See ya!

Oh, okay. That about explains it.