Today we’re having a party at our place. In a previous life, that would have been a good thing. But the adult me dreads the party. Now the word party invokes exhaustion. Between the planning, cooking, and pre- and post-party house cleanings, I could care less about whether these people have a good time. What I care about is that they all leave so I can go to sleep. Tomorrow I’d like to get up at the normal time and resume my life in the morning without the aid of Advil.

I still love throwing a good party, but I think that a change is in order. From here on out, parties shall be limited to brunch and barbecue based events. Looking for an all-night rager? Find a 25-year old or head to the bars, because closing time here is at 7 PM.