Unfiltered Thoughts: The Workday

Am I the only one who views the workday as an impediment to the sh*t I want to and need to get done? Instead of sitting here for 8 hours I would rather:

  • finish my Photoshop Mother’s Day project
  • finish the art I started 7 months ago for my daughter’s nursery
  • finish start at least one of the three books I got from the library
  • watch another episode of Luther
  • nap

And, for those of you who are counting, in addition to the pet projects I would like to get done, I also need to:

  • fold and put away laundry
  • buy a robot vacuum / floor cleaner mop
  • figure out something to make for dinner that isn’t one of the 5 same old, same old recipes in my repertoire of late
  • nap.

Seeking Personal Intern

I’m catching up on email after the weekend, and there is a tremendous amount of it. I should clarify: personal email. I have found that I do not have time to get online on the weekends. At all. My hats off to those professional mom-bloggers who do have the time have hired help to watch their little ones. But I don’t have time to check (and, more importantly, respond to my email), write a blog post, or just scroll through gawker. And while I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything, it does feel overwhelming to open that inbox come Monday morning. Just another reason I’ve decided I could use a personal intern to help cope with everyday demands (read: anything lower on my priority list than (1) hanging with baby, (2) walks with baby, and (3) napping with baby) on my time and energy. So, here goes:

Funky-Ass Monkey, Inc.

Position Description: Funky-Ass Monkey, Inc. is a small, privately held company focused on writing and editing. Our mission is to help call attention to items that deserve both rants and raves. We’re looking for an intern who is genuinely interested in helping us grow comedy, baking, photography, babies, and reality tv that is of the highest quality of the lowliest, most awful television life form.

This entry-level position is ideally suited for a student wishing to gain experience or someone interested in a career change in web-publishing and/or writing and editing making coffee, checking email, dropping off and picking up dry cleaning, vacuuming, and running errands as needed.

You might be the right candidate if you possess:

Excellent written and verbal communication skills

Strong organizational and time-management skills

An eye for detail

The ability to proactively identify and solve problems

A sense of humor

A strong understanding of the importance of naps, diet coke, and dog walks

A music catalogue that enables you to dispel any earworm that gets stuck in my head with a better replacement

The ability to draw the wickety wak scenes that spring forth from my imagination

While this position is unpaid, I can offer a flexible work schedule, close proximity to my awesomeness, nearly unlimited coffee, diet coke, and leftovers, yummy baked goods, my dogs’ undying devotion, and a casual work environment.

Interested applicants should submit a cover letter that tells me why you think you’d be the right fit for the position.

Time for a Nap

I came across this Statler & Waldorf video today, and it incorporates everything that is good in life: Muppets, the web, and napping. A friend of mine says, “I have NO idea how I spent my time at work before the Internet. Seriously! I have NO clue!” So what would we do without the internet? I wholeheartedly support Statler & Waldorf’s excellent suggestion.