nope, not bitter at all

Me: What time are we meeting our friends at the Children’s museum? 9:00?

My Better Half: uh, not til 11:00…

Me: <raising one eyebrow>

My Better Half: I tried to get them to agree to meet around 9:00 but then they said “Why so early?!”

Me: Their kids must sleep in.

Me: F*ck them.

—-

I can at least take solace in the fact that last night the Yankees (their team) lost to the Red Sox (ours). While I drink my coffee and pray for an early nap.

Sounds About Right

I spent the day with a 6 year old. At one point, he came in from the back yard, where My Better Half™ was working on the pond, to say “It’s soooo boring out there.”

Me: “Yeah, well, I hate to tell you, but being an adult is often boring.”

Him: “Yeah, I know. There’s lots of cleaning involved.”

Conversation with the Neighborhood Kids

Kid: “Did you know one of the kids in the neighborhood is…MISSING?!”

Holy sh*t! I haven’t seen any posters up at the park or on the mailboxes, no cops have come to my door.

Me: “Wha?! What do you mean?”

Kid: “Nobody’s seen him for, like, 30 minutes!”

 

Overheard: Neighborhood Kids

One thing that brings me such joy and entertainment are the neighborhood kids. There’s this whole posse of them that all live around me and hang out together, getting into all sorts of antics. And especially during my unemployment, I’m home during the day in the middle of the week, and with the windows open, I get to eavesdrop on their conversations. Today, I heard the following:

Kid #1 to Kid #2: “My mom says we can’t play with you anymore because of, well, yesterday’s, uh, incident.”