1. What’s wrong with you?

Lots. Mostly, I’m an anxious person. I worry that I worry too much. Next question?

2. What’s the story behind the title “Funky-Ass Monkey”?

Good question. I barely remember, it seems like forever ago. Aka 2006. Here’s my best explanation: the URL was available. But seriously – I used to call drivers who tailgate “ass monkeys” and My Better Half™ wisely suggested that I add “Funky” to my favorite of my many foul-mouthed sayings, rather than just title my blog “ass monkey.” Good call. That’s why I keep him around.

3. What’s with the use of “we,” “our,” etc.? Are you a multiple personality? 

No. I have My Better Half™. He is an awesomely supportive partner, but this blog is not about him. It’s about my experiences, told from my point of view. If he wanted to share his life, he’d get his own site.

4. When you say “Phoenix,” you mean….

I use Phoenix to refer to the giant megalopolitan area in which I live. There are many cities that comprise this metropolitan area, and I don’t live in Phoenix – I live in Tempe. But it’s just a lot easier to say Phoenix. I don’t find it worth the effort to explain the subtle differences between one crap town and another in this gigantic sprawlopolis of sameness.

5. And you live there because?

My Better Half™ is in graduate school here. We’re out of here as soon as that’s done, should fate allow.

6. So you’d rather be in….?

I’d rather live closer to family and friends. I’d rather live in a small rural town that allows access to the outdoors. We prefer to be able to walk our dogs for miles on end hiking through forests and mountains, bike to where we need to go,  enjoy four distinct seasons, and just basically enjoy a higher quality of life. 

7. What do you do?

I work in museums and archives, doing behind-the-scenes stuff. It sounds cooler than it is, trust me. I end up doing a lot of boring stuff – technical writing, database administration and configuration, data entry, and arguing with blue-haired old bats who often do more harm than good. After getting laid off by the last museum where I worked, I worked for yet another poorly managed (though not underfunded) nonprofit before cutting my losses, calling my museum career’s time of death, and heading for academia until I can make a living at napping this writing thing. 

Best decision. Ever.

8. And in your spare time?

What is this “spare time” to which you refer? While I firmly believe in working to live (rather than living to work), working in non-profits means that I spend a lot more time than the average person working b/c nonprofits generally can’t afford adequate staffing to accomplish all that needs to be done. But in my spare time, I love to nap with my baby or just generally hang out with her, escape the urban environs and hike with my dogs at higher elevation forests where it’s 20-30 degrees cooler, cook and bake, garden, read, analyze reality tv, and do nature/landscape photography. Mostly I love to read and write, which is how this blog got started.

9. Where’d you get your awesome-ass logo? 

My friend, the totally awesome Chris Piascik made it for me, that’s where. 

10. Which superhero would you rather be? Superman or Batman?

Batman, duh! Mostly because he comes with a sidekick, but also because he makes his own destiny as a mere mortal, it’s not just a product of some supernatural power.

11. What would your hip hop name be?

G Wiz.


That’s all the time we’ve got folks, cause this list? It goes to 11.

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