Not having an income sucks. But I gotta say not having a job is kinda great. Sure, a lot of my time is spent looking for work, writing cover letters, and tweaking my resume. An awful lot of my time, actually.
But I also have plenty of time to think.
Sometimes I think about what I want to do with my life vis a vis work. But mostly I find that pointless because I don’t feel like I have much of a choice. I just need a paycheck…any paycheck. It doesn’t really matter what I want to do, so much as it matters who’s hiring right now and for what.
Mostly I think about what it will be like to be a mom. Everything that I do as I go about my day, I think about what that will be like once I have a baby. During my long aimless walks in the middle of the day, I think about the routes I could take for our long stroller walks – taking baby to the park, going past the elementary school playground where s/he will be someday, and coming home via the canal so s/he can watch the duckies. When I go to the library, I pretend to scan the shelves or mindlessly flip through books while I secretly eavesdrop on the moms, wondering if that will be me someday holding a book about how to keep my kid from biting. And when I lie in the hammock in the middle of a weekday (like today), I imagine how nice it will be to be swaying back and forth snuggled with a baby in the crook of my arm watching the clouds overhead.
Yep. This is way better than any job.