As of today, it's been 57 days since I've been anywhere, except driving from my old place to my new place to move in. Fifty seven days. The last place I went was dropping my mom off at the airport for her to fly home. I keep asking myself shouldn't I feel...lonely? sad? worried? about the being only at home? And some moments, and some days, I do. But mostly I feel fine. And crushing, keeps-me-up-at-night guilt that I mostly feel fine about quarantine. Shouldn't I feel … [Read more...] about 57 days
As irrational as it sounds - and as irrational as it is - in the back of my mind, I keep wondering if this whole quarantine, shelter-in-place thing is somehow my fault. I know that sounds crazy. But hear me out. First, for years, I have struggled mightily with trying to work and parent simultaneously. The whole work like you don't have children and parent like you don't have a job thing. I've worked my ass off to have a career that is both intellectually fulfilling and steady (to the … [Read more...] about Did I will this into existence?
We have a family calendar we print and keep on the fridge. Yes, a paper calendar. If you don't have kids, you won't understand this, but kids don't have smart phones they can use to check what's happening on any given day. Heck, even my husband can't be bothered to check a shared google calendar, so... I prefer the DIY calendar you just print yourself, month by month, and fill out by hand, anyway. At the start of each new year, I'll print out each month, and fill in the little I do know - … [Read more...] about Our Family Calendar – April 2020
In our married lives, with regard to housing, our timing is everything. We moved to Phoenix in 2006, at the peak of the housing market. By 2013, when we had 2 children, we had been desperate for more space. For a Very. Long. Time. But why hadn't we moved? Oh a little thing called the Great Recession. Eventually, in 2016, our home value had finally come back enough that we could walk away. Except then, only I could qualify for a mortgage (not both of us). Why? Because no lender recognizes … [Read more...] about Moving During a Pandemic, Because Apparently That’s How We Roll
In September 2001, I was working for a federal agency in Flagstaff, Arizona. It is absolutely stunning there in September - deep blue skies, wispy clouds, and aspens starting to turn gold in the warm afternoons, before the nights grew cool. I fell in love with hiking by myself there, and would spend most afternoons and weekends exploring and just being in nature. This is a picture I took shortly after September 11, 2001 on one of my favorite trails. I don't know what you see when you … [Read more...] about Another empty sky day